DA2 Discussion

To make things short, me and DMT had a chat on Skype. At first we talked about random stuff but quickly started a discussion about Dragon Age 2 and "one" of it's problem, which I still had in mind. It goes as follow:


(First segment is a bit random, but I like it enough to keep it)

[06:01:30] DMT: How's work?
[06:01:34] DMT: You keeping Canada safe?
[06:01:41] Anzariel: oh yeah.


Some random chatting. Following passage was nice enough to mention it::

[06:04:06] DMT: wanna know why I've been grumpy as **** lately?
[06:04:15] Anzariel: shoot it
[06:05:32] DMT: Simply being terribly sick.
[06:05:36] Anzariel: I'm sry for you :S
[06:05:51] DMT: just got the medication a matter of minutes ago.
[06:05:55] Anzariel: kk
[06:06:04] DMT: Started on Thursday.
[06:06:04] Anzariel: well, at least, you can treat it
[06:06:06] DMT: Just got worse.
[06:06:11] Anzariel: being french in incurable
[06:06:18] DMT: Bah.
[06:06:40] DMT: Just means your food's better, your accent's sexier, your babes hotter, and your ass-kicking more definitive.
[06:06:49] Anzariel: .....
[06:06:53] DMT: And you're more stylish.
[06:06:56] Anzariel: that's France
[06:06:59] DMT: oh.
[06:07:15] DMT: I dunno, then.
[06:07:22] Anzariel: us, we're all of that, but we're stupid enough to re-elect the same government who lied to us a couple of times :S
[06:07:30] DMT: If someone pisses you off, drop a French log cabin on them.
[06:07:35] Anzariel: lol
[06:07:38] Anzariel: on yeah
[06:07:43] Anzariel: Maple wood is HEAVY!
[06:07:51] DMT: Smells nice, too.
[06:08:11] Anzariel: if you'd made a Heavy minigun in Maple wood for a Heavy, it wouldn't break!
[06:08:18] Anzariel: AND it would give their rotting corpses a good smell. Maybe.


So we randomly talked some moar. Nothing too interesting. Then...

[06:18:57] Anzariel: you tried dragon age 2?
[06:19:05] DMT: Nope.
[06:19:05] Anzariel: and if so, what's your thoughts about it?
[06:19:08] Anzariel: ok
[06:19:11] Anzariel: you planning to?
[06:19:23] DMT: Not sure.  Might warez it at some point. ( DMT is a CRIMINAL!)
[06:19:48] Anzariel: before you do that
[06:19:52] Anzariel: http://anzariel.blogspot.com/
[06:41:15] DMT: Your character dies?
[07:06:46] Anzariel: no, the one you pick to join you in the expedition does.
[07:06:51] Anzariel: in a very lame way too
[07:07:08] Anzariel: ...food poisoning
[07:07:11] Anzariel: no kidding. Didn't burned  or anything interesting :(
[07:12:48] DMT: .
[07:14:05] DMT: The brave stalwart wizard Gandalf raised his staff, then toppled over and shit himself, his dying words choked by his vomoting weakly down his front, and the loud, wet fart of his death as muscles relaxed and moved no more.
[07:16:01] DMT: Why not just include the sound of them dying offscreen with comical vomiting followed by a watery fart as they crap their pants after death ala South Park?
[07:19:17] DMT: Why not just say "HERO X HAS DIED OF DYSENTERY."
[07:20:15] Anzariel: lol
[07:22:12] DMT: How... is the hero death thing handled?
[07:22:27] Anzariel: no idea, didn't finished the game
[07:23:28] DMT: How are you told about the death?
[07:23:40] Anzariel: about the food poisoning?
[07:24:06] Anzariel: or the cinematic before that?
[07:24:38] DMT: Food poisoning.
[07:25:00] Anzariel: skin turns pale, the character says *I won't make it*
[07:25:02] Anzariel: Screen fade...
[07:25:06] Anzariel: Game tells you "THREE YEARS LATER!!!"
[07:25:11] DMT: Wait... what?
[07:25:22] DMT: They have magic and all that shit, right?
[07:25:26] Anzariel: yep
[07:26:49] Anzariel: and the thing is, I found about 3 plot holes (just in the expedition scene)
[07:26:56] Anzariel: you're scared about spoilers?
[07:26:59] DMT: Not really.
[07:27:10] DMT: not for that game.
[07:27:11] Anzariel: ok, I'll just shoot the most obvious ones

Must I say "SPOILERS!!!" about right here?

[07:27:42] Anzariel: pretty much, they're in a cave, which already took them a week to get that far, a door gets stuck, they have to find a different path which takes them 5 days.
[07:27:55] Anzariel: and they had to eat mushrooms on the way because they don't have anything on them besides gold.
[07:27:57] Anzariel: ...mushrooms they find in the cave...
[07:28:01] Anzariel: with dragon poop and etc.
[07:28:14] Anzariel: so, first of all, BACKPACKS!
[07:28:27] DMT: Why not stock up on mushrooms?
[07:28:27] Anzariel: bring some ******* nuts next time you go cave scavenging!
[07:28:36] DMT: Or rations, like any sensitible adventurers?
[07:28:41] Anzariel: exactly
[07:28:56] Anzariel: SECOND! they all eat mushrooms, so why is there only one fag noob adventurer dying from them
[07:29:14] DMT: Allergy?
[07:29:27] Anzariel: NO it is clearly poisoning
[07:29:30] Anzariel: slow death
[07:29:33] Anzariel: veins runs black.
[07:29:44] DMT: He/she had the shits.
[07:29:48] DMT: No toilet paper.
[07:29:49] Anzariel: yeah
[07:29:51] Anzariel: lol
[07:29:52] DMT: Held it in.
[07:30:04] Anzariel: no
[07:30:09] Anzariel: makes no sense, shut up
[07:30:36] DMT: Hey, it's magic constipation, okay?
[07:31:50] Anzariel: THREE! if you go somewhere where you may be blocked/left alone,  BRING A ******* SURVIVAL BOOK!
[07:31:54] Anzariel: there
[07:32:07] DMT: Wait...
[07:32:12] DMT: Why are they even going into a cave?
[07:32:19] Anzariel: treasures
[07:32:21] Anzariel: expedition
[07:32:36] DMT: So... don't they have a wagon?
[07:32:41] Anzariel: nope
[07:32:42] DMT: With... provisions, etc?
[07:32:45] Anzariel: not that kind of swarves
[07:32:48] DMT: Wait...
[07:32:49] Anzariel: dwarves*
[07:33:00] DMT: Wait wait wait...
[07:33:05] Anzariel: not even in the cinematics. no wagons. And they're 13
[07:33:07] DMT: If they don't have a wagon...
[07:33:08] Anzariel: well, over 10 guys
[07:33:17] DMT: And they don't have provisions...
[07:33:20] Anzariel: NOPE
[07:33:25] DMT: How did they get to the cave to start with?
[07:33:32] DMT: And how were they going to get that treasure back?
[07:33:42] Anzariel: MAGIC OF VIDEO TRANSITION!!!!
[07:33:46] DMT: HOW DID THEY EAT ON THE WAY THERE?
[07:33:54] Anzariel: MAGIC OF VIDEO TRANSITION!!!!... and a boat. With nothing on it.
[07:34:26] DMT: Likely the food was being kept up the *** of the character that died.
[07:34:30] Anzariel: well, to be honest, there is ONE wagon, but it belongs to the ENCHANTER!!!
[07:34:46] Anzariel: and it's so small it couldn't hold enough food for me and you for even 2 days...
[07:34:57] DMT: Geez.
[07:35:01] Anzariel: yeah
[07:35:03] Anzariel: Go EA
[07:35:16] Anzariel: anyway brb (Had to check something. I AM working while having this discussion. Night shifts benefits :D)
[07:38:11] DMT: So... I'm guessing the expedition is kind of a spur of the moment affair?
[07:38:20] DMT: "Look guys, a cave!  Let's see what's inside!"
[07:38:45] Anzariel: oh no
[07:38:48] Anzariel: actually a planned event
[07:38:50] Anzariel: for months!
[07:39:01] DMT: Hahaha!
[07:40:24] Anzariel: yep
[07:41:47] Anzariel: ...how many employees are working at EA?
[07:41:52] Anzariel: and how many worked on DA2?
[07:42:30] DMT: How many of them have ever been on a hike?
[07:42:46] DMT: Or seen the outdoors?
[07:42:58] Anzariel: I WAS GONNA SAY THAT!
[07:43:25] DMT: This... is stuff that you should post on your YouTube channel.
[07:43:38] DMT: "About Dragon Age II"
[07:43:45] Anzariel: HOOYY goys, I went and took a walk in the forest and going up and down repeatedly DUG A HOLE IN MAH BELLEH!
[07:43:54] Anzariel: yeah, I probably should
[07:44:07] Anzariel: but....hhggggnnnn I don't wanna replay all of that again :S
[07:44:15] Anzariel: took me 10 hours to get that far...
[07:44:16] DMT: And just have you and others discussing Dragon Age II's plot holes and assorted stupid **** with dumb **** in the game happening behind you.
[07:44:33] Anzariel: ....hell, we're doing it right now
[07:45:21] DMT: *companion dies* "Well damn, look at that.  They got a protein source right there.  See?  They *did* bring food after all!"
[07:56:34] DMT: Hmmm.
[07:56:36] DMT: Actually...
[07:57:02] DMT: Discussing retarded stuff from games and recording the conversations would be... amusing.
[07:57:07] DMT: And play into popular culture.
[08:06:32] DMT: "What I Learned From GAME"
[08:07:31] DMT: What I learned from Dragon Age II: BioWare employees have never been hiking, nor gone into a cave.
[08:10:01] Anzariel: lol
[08:10:05] Anzariel: actually hylarious
[08:10:16] DMT: Going into a cave will KILL YOU for no reason.
[08:10:32] Anzariel: you know what, I'll copy all of this discussion into my blog
[08:10:36] DMT: YOU WILL GET CONSTIPATED AND DIED if you go to a cave.
[08:11:01] Anzariel: anyway, need to go
[08:11:06] DMT: Okay.
[08:11:09] DMT: Later.